I’ve been pretty much practically single for 4 years. I say that with deep hesitation and carefully chosen words because well, I’ve had “relationships” here and there but nothing I could proudly say I maintained for more than 3 months. And a big reason for this was not the man or boy or imbecile, but me. I could probably say in this safe place called blogger that I am what many call a shallow Hal. And allow me to explain why. I have standards. And I don’t feel like I should set the bar low because it will increase my chances of finding someone to settle with. I don’t want to settle. I want to jump, to fly, to leap into something and someone beautiful.
Sure, you could probably argue with me and say “In your fat dreams.” But I can say with deep faith, high hopes, and confidence that my dreams are fat and my dreams will come true. I want my man to be beautiful in my eyes. And trust me, when I say that beautiful in my definition has a very different meaning from the common public. People have questioned my style, my choice in men/boys/imbeciles, and I can proudly say I have a reason why I fall for said guys. Most of the times, I can see it in their eyes. I feel like I should cue a karaoke song at this point, but really. Something about their eyes get me in. They could be a lumberjack with tapered jeans and dirty sneakers and I am. in.
This time around I find myself wanting more. Having recently had this great life change I want more. And by more, I mean I want a man with decency. And you’d be surprised, that shit is hard to find. I want a man who doesn’t pursue me but revels in my company, who wants to befriend me and not look up my skirt every chance he gets. I want a man who pursues his career, who is forward in his thinking, and who always looks to improve himself. I want a man who wants himself, who like me, is okay being single. I want a man who delights in the simplest things, who loves his family and who will dance with me around the house with no care in the world. I want a man I can create with — who I can have adventures with, make stories with, and create life with. Yeah I said it, I want someone who can make beautiful babies with me. And most importantly, I want a companionship that lifts me up and that makes me a better person. Because anything less than that, is not worth waiting all this time for. So yes, I’m ready for you, come out, come out, wherever you are. :)